Where does motivation go when you lose it?
Why does your CD always have to skip during your favorite song?
How come no one has invented a teleporter that works yet?
Ok, so I feel a little bit better now. I have about an hours work of cleaning in my room today. I lost momentum somewhere around dinner time, and barely accomplished much after wards. I am happy to say that I have completed purchasing anything in preparation for my next 3 months in Alaska.
I had to seriously think hard about the things I should take up with me. Items such as toothpaste, toothbrushes, shampoo, conditioner, shaving needs, etc, are decent percent higher to purchase up there to make up for the cost of shipping. The good thing is I will be leaving with less than I came from for once.
As far as I know I still do not have a roommate up there, which is kind of nice. It would be great to get back up there and have the place to myself again. After what will be a whole month away from Nome, it would great to not have someone around, as it has been staying here with my mom and my sister and dad in St. Louis.
Like I said, this will have to be my last time in Nome. I could extend a month or so, but I cannot fathom committing myself to the same place again.
It seemed I stayed in Nome too long, since I was itching to go to California. I stayed in California too long, and was itching to be home. I was in Memphis too long, and I head to Nome, and the time wasn't enough. Now I am going back and I know I will be antsy to search for new places to venture off to.
I still need to get on track with school. I have sworn to myself that I am going to save every penny I can while there, just in case it will be needed for any form of occupational vacation... I hope that will not be the case.
I also decided that by this time next year, or shortly after, I should be moved back to St. Louis. I have spent enough time making my permanent residence here in TN. There are times when you have to wave of your white flag and admit that you failed. I did not fail in some monumental way. It's just that the whole reason I came here in the first place was to live easier and go back to school. So far, I haven't had a book to crack open to further my education.
I could find a small studio to rent, or find someone wit a 2 bedroom apartment or something and rent with them. It has been a hard thing after these last 3 years to come home to where you live and not really feel like the place was my own.
I feel good about all my new realizations and discoveries. It is all a journey in life to take, the steps that get you to where you need to be. Of course, I may change my mind and go another direction, but that happens to everyone every day.
Happy Holidays. I am off to clean the house and put up a Christmas tree...