future?

Well, I have reported before that there aren't any travel jobs down south in the lower 48, nor are there any good jobs for permanent nursing either due to the economy.

I talked to my nurse manager at the hospital on Friday, to request a possible long extension. It seems promising, and I will be getting an answer by the end of the week. SOOOOOOOOO, every one pray for me!

I am only 18 days away from the arrival of my sister for a whole week here in Nome for the Iditarod! I am super happy and excited! I think my friends aren't annoyed anymore that I am counting down, and excited to meet her.

We may even be judges for the Wet Buns Contest :)

the odds

The odds are not in my favor as far as staying in the travelling game. There appears to be not be any jobs for travelling in the Lower 48.

I am now starting to wonder what my options are. I was hoping to go to Maryland as soon as this assignment was over, but I am now starting to think maybe I should stay in AK for a while until the travel market picks up again.

The only issue at hand now is the fact that there are more nurses coming in, so my chances at getting a slot to stay here in Nome are not the greatest. I am hoping that because I am an LPN and cheaper, and the fact that my boss here loves me and knows I am a valuable asset...The hitch is, I can't pitch my case until my boss gets back on Tuesday.

The waiting is killing me. I am petrified that I may not be able to either stay, or have a job to go to when this assignment is over.

Hopefully I will have something to post by Tuesday that is happy....

Ten Days and a WAKE UP!

Yes, I am out of here in ten days, and I only have 6 shifts left at the Blind Center! Woot!

My dad will be here soon, and then we commence our cross-country adventures back to St. Louis.

I still plan on spending a week or so in STL before heading 'home' to Memphis. I still plan on getting a job waiting tables somewhere near my home, and enjoying my summer. I still plan on travel nursing, and I even think I could come back to Palo Alto and do the flu clinic again. But if all else fails, I will always have options.

I am hoping to remain financially stable enough over the summer to sustain a free spirited lifestyle of being able to go to STL every other weekend or so, and be able to just relax, enjoy myself, get my room in order, spend quality time with family, and ready myself to jump back into travelling.

No matter my plans, if a job becomes available in Alaska again, I am dropping everything to go back. I miss it there, and I severely miss my friends and coworkers.

I hope wherever I end up next on assignment, I won't have any issues with making friends like I have had here. That has been one of the hardest things for me in California. Trying to find people my age that are into the same things as me. I like to go to bars and have drinks, got to the movies, parks, museums, flea markets, restaurants, concerts, sightseeing, touristing, etc...

Only lately have I been able to hang out with my friend Renei and her friends and family, and it kind of makes me sad that I have to leave so shortly after the strong bonds we have made. I know I will always have a good friend here, so that makes it a little better.

I have never been good with being patient, but I am trying pretty hard.

Adulthood is the Devil

At the age of 21, no matter how mature you think you are, you just aren't. This goes for every type of struggle, every type of person.

I thought I was super mature when I walked into the front doors of Sanford-Brown and made the steps to go to nursing school. When I made the moves and the decisions, you couldn't sway me to do otherwise. An with how stubborn I am, I know now (well, I knew a long time ago) that I should have listened to a few people.

I should have tried another nursing program that would have helped me achieve my RN, instead of being stuck in LPN limbo. We get treated like crap, disrespected, we're underpaid, and have to work 10 times as hard just to show we can do what we can do. We are usually looked down on in the nursing community, civilians usually don't think we're a real nurse, and most people think we are glorified nurses aides.

Since I began nursing in February of 2000, I have worked in nursing homes (were most people think LPN's belong) a medical/surgical/teaching/oncology ward for 4 years, cardiac for 8 months, and then to Alaska, where I did so much, I barely had room on my resume to put it on without someone losing interest.

I have helped babies come into the world and I have helped the elderly and very ill find the light. I am good at what I do, and I actually like what I do. My latest assignment has fond me at the Western Blind Rehabilitation Center in Palo Alto at the VA Hospital. I have been here for 6 months, and I am drawing my time here to a close. I have a little over 2 more weeks, and I couldn't have more ants in my pants to get out of California. This is something I never thought I would say: California just isn't for me. These are words that feel like chest pains and a punch in the stomach both at the same time.

Ever since I can remember, I have always wanted to live here. But my experiences, downfalls, and disappointments over the last 8 months have almost broken my naive little heart in a way. I have always had an overomantacized view of things, and California was no different. If I ever get down to it, I'll write a book, and finally release to everyone why getting this job was one big mistake.

Now, don't get me wrong, I have had plenty of fun since I have been here. I have seen almost everything there is to see, both north and south, experienced lovely weather, enjoyed visits to LA and had both my parents visit me as well. I have made a handful of friends as well, but all these are no reason to stay.

No one has seemed to understand me when I say that there is something in the air that doesn't sit right with me. As much as I would like to say lack of humidity, anyone who lives in it would know that's not the case. The people I work with are great, people at the VA are nice and easy to work with, the facility is perfect, and the area couldn't have more interesting trees, plant life, and weather. So what's the deal? Too many bad things that happened, and not enough good things either. It's funny, because everyone so far has begged me to stay. It's just not enough for me I guess. I really wish things would have turned out the way that I had hoped, but I have just decided to roll with the punches, and clock my experiences here as lessons learned and life lived.

If you would have told me that I would be doing this type of work 10 years ago, I would have scoffed and turned my nose at the idea. I cannot believe that I have done all the incredible things I have in the past 10 years, and I really wouldn't trade any of it. I know now that the grass may be greener on the other side, it just might not be as easy to walk on.

CALGON, take me away!

I am going to be out of California in a few weeks, and I am having short timers syndrome big time.

I am going to leave the details to the imagination, but I am going to tale a mental health vacation for a while. When I leave here, I am ceasing from travel nursing for a while.

I haven't been home for a while in pretty much 2 years, and the stress of the visits back while I was on assignment were killing me trying to let my friends and family play tug of war with who gets to spend tine with me. In other words, I am coming home also to please everyone, so they can all leave me alone about me leaving for so long.

Last time I checked, I was still an adult that could make decisions about where I would live and work. I don't know. Maybe I'm wrong? I already know I'm crazy, so we can leave that one out of the equation.

In a nutshell, I came to California for the wrong reason, and it has bit me in the ass ever since I got here. One way or another, it's been almost as if this place was telling me I didn't belong here and needed to be somewhere else.

I stayed out of desperation and needing a new assignment to go to. I was only going to stay here another 13 weeks after I was done with the flu clinic, then move along my way.

My luck has been shit. I can't find a position to go to, get a job after that pays decent, or go to a state that I already have a license for. SO, I am going to take a month off and reflect on the things I should be doing with my life.

It's that time again.

I get to start looking for a new assignment to travel to. So far, Tacoma, WA has a spot available at their VA. maybe I can slide right up there since I am already in the federal system.



I have been packing unnecessary clothing and such, doing laundry, cleaning a bit. Oh the joys. I have realized that since I have been here from October I have collected quite a few more items to my arsenal of belongings. More clothes, knick-knacks, keepsakes, photos, blah blah blah...



I am calmly overwhelmed right now, knowing I have 4 weeks to pull it all together. If I don't get a new assignment before I work my last shift here, I have 2 options: pack up and drive home to Memphis, or stay here in Palo Alto until I get a new assignment. I am still undecided since I have quite a bit of that taste of disdain for this area, even though staying can help me save more money for wherever I plan to go next. I just don;t feel like getting an assignment the day after I get back from CA to TN, and then have to drive another hideously long distance to the next job.



I shouldn't whine, I have it pretty good. I don't pay rent or utilities, which helps me out a huge deal since I have lots of debts to pay off; ie: Mom and student loans, blech. The few things that really suck about travel nursing are these:

1)You never really know for sure what you're getting in to. You don't know if the floor you got hired to work on will be a complete mess, or the nurses will be mean, etc. If it sucks, you're stuck there for at least 13 weeks. So far I have been lucky with awesome nurse managers and really friendly coworkers. Of course, there are the occasional bad apples, but that's anywhere at any job.

2)Getting to have to make a fresh start. Social life is all up to you. If you want to make friends, you literally have to go out and get them. And as I have become more seasoned at this line of work, I have realized that the first 3 people you meet that you would normally make the initiative to exchange phone numbers and hang out with usually turn out to be the people you really don't want to hang out with. I was lucky when I came here that I had my friend Corissa that I worked with in Nome here. She was a great help to have around, and it was nice to know I already had a friend.

3)Having to learn how to navigate in a totally alien area to you. Yeah, sucks. I was lucky in Nome since the town was so small and I didn''t have a car that I walked everywhere, and that everything was pretty much within a 5-10 minute walk from everything. Here in CA, it's so damn big, it had been a real effort to learn where things were. The first places to look for for me are the Safeway, Long's and Target. Sad I know, but when you need the basics, it's good to know where they are. Next town I go to I am going to have all the necessary locales mapped out before I get there. hooray fro Google Maps.

4)Looking for a new assignment when there is a time crunch is a pain in the ass. As much as I love my recruiter, it's really hard to get a hold of here when I need her the most, so frequent freak-outs are normal. I have 4 more weeks here, and I want to get out at that time if I can.

5)The packing up the car and moving thing is a large pain in the ass and I am so not looking forward to squeezing all I have here in my car and then cleaning up the apartment before my next embarkation. Knowing how much I have accumulated since I have been here is frustrating, since I now have a beaming feeling that I will have to get a roof rack for my car for the added crap to my crap arsenal. This in turn will slow down my trip and no doubt eat up gas mileage. yay.

6)Dating? What's that? I had my try at it since I have been here and the trials of it were quite disappointing. This has definitely not been the place for me to make a love connection. No big deal really, next town please....



It's not that bad, I swear. Maybe next after I get to my new destination I can post an entry about all the rad stuff that happens with my job.



Cross your fingers for me kids. Momma wants a cool new job :)

Slacker

Well, I haven't been on the blog scene for a while, so how about an update? Just a little disclaimer: this might be either long, or the first of many segmented entries to either get things off my chest, or just recap what has been going on in my life the last few weeks. I will decide as I go along.

Spirit of adventure, right?

Well, I am all by myself in the Blind Rehab Center. I got called in to work the night shift for the regular night nurse has called in, and I could really use the overtime pay, and the hours. I just got back to California Wednesday night, and straight back to work Thursday morning.

Which leads me to the first of many gripes. (and ahead of time, I would like to apologize if this becomes too complaintative) My company charges for "unearned housing". Which means in a nutshell; if you don't work your agreed and contracted hours, they charge you somewhere around $11 an hour per hour you missed that you were supposed to have worked. Well. Here we go. I went straight into this assignment here in Palo Alto, without any time off in between to go home, or rest, or anything else. Typically, travellers take one to two weeks off to relax, take care of business, whatever. I needed to keep on track and not have a gap in pay, so I decided to go ahead and start right away. In addition, I was afraid if I didn't start right away, I wouldn't get the job. SO..... Anyhow, I fought and argued with my company, and no dice. They weren't going to allow me a "free" week so I could go home, and now I am going to be charged (debited) out of my account for missing hours, even though I I had approved time off. I smell bullshit.

Of course, even though I missed hours last week, I made up 4 of them by working a 12 hour shift on Saturday. And now, I am double-backing, working midnight shift for 8 hours, on overtime, and will only be short a total of 4 hours all together if they count missing hours by pay schedule, and not by the week. This is definitely something I need to check up on tomorrow with my recruiter. (post-it note already on computer)

California has not been what I had hoped it to be as far as keeping up with finances go. My paychecks have been less than stellar, and I haven't been able to save but a few pennies, and I haven't paid my mother a red, licking cent back for what I owe her since I have been here. I am thinking all this can also originate from the fact that I was off work for 3 weeks, and had to wait 3 more weeks after I got to California to get my first paycheck. I have been trying to get out of the hole since I have been here, and the cost of living in California has been a definite obstacle in trying to stay afloat financially.

A travel nurse can definitely flourish in funds here if he or she is ready for it. I know for a fact that if I came here with the money I left Nome with, I wouldn't have a frown in the world in regards to my pocketbook. But that's the way it goes, this is another one of God's tests to keep me strong, and a definite lesson in time and money management.

I just got paid on Friday, and for some shocking reason, I checked my account today, and have a lot more money than I thought I did. This won't be for long, as I have not seen my cell phone payment go through yet, AT&T will debit my account for the retarded modem I had to buy for internet access and services rendered, and I have yet to pay my car insurance this month. (yes, another post-it note about this on the monitor as we speak)

I did, however manage to pluck $100 out of my checking account and place it into my savings. My one true goal over the next week and a half to to attempt to spend as little money as possible unless necessary for food and gas, and not touch my savings. If I can do this for the next 10 days, I know I will be back on track to getting my savings back in order and start to be able to pay my Mom back what I owe her.

I got some rather sad news yesterday regarding my plans for the near future. I called my Nurse manager, Colleen, to see if she was going to need me from April through June/July, and she has hired some new permanent staff. As this is always subject to change, I am happy for her and the hospital that she will finally have people there all the time and she won't have to deal with that many more travellers, but I am also sad for myself that I cannot go back anytime soon. I had so many financial plans surrounding being stuck in the bush of Alaska for 3 months, and now, I must go on to Plan B, since Plan A(laska), has now gone to pot. I have been severely missing my friends up there, and I really have been missing Nome. I have been missing the snow, and the short winter days and long nights. Being able to go straight to bed in the winter because it was still pitch black outside when I got home from work. Being truly appreciative for crawling into a warm and fuzzy bed, for it was really FREAKING cold outside! Like 20 below zero... I miss going outside to smoke on the back patio at work, or on the front steps of my apartment, trying not to freeze to death, and shiver so much that I can't hold the cigarette. And I truly miss watching large beautiful glistening snowflakes fall in utter silence as they danced across the the lights of the lamp posts. (one of the most beautiful things I have ever seen, totally always placing me in the most romantically sad of moods, thinking of the same person every time I witnessed it)

And I miss the Northern Lights. I cannot describe them in words. They most definitely something to behold to the human eye for oneself. A true act of God, for something so beautiful cannot be created by man.


Anyhow, that is the gist of it I think. I have killed about an hour now. I have to go and do bed checks in 15 minutes, so I guess I'll have a cigarette, get back to work, and come back here to blog a little more to keep me awake, for I only had 3 hours of sleep before I got here tonight.